I was a computer addict running from reality, until I rose from a wheelchair onto crutches, wrote a book, became an entrepreneur and found my partner. Now I help other men take charge of their attention.
You may not call it an addiction.
Maybe you are an entrepreneur drowning in emails. Or a developer with 47 windows open at once. Maybe you are a content creator whose “research” never turns into anything. Or simply someone who scrolls in the evenings. In the end the feeling is the same.
You wake up and grab your phone before your first thought. In the evening you need scrolling to unwind. And so there is no time left for actually living.
Your attention is split between dozens of things. You cannot do effective work, let alone meaningful work. Your goals and values slip your mind. Even when inspiration takes hold, the flow stops soon enough, as soon as you check social media “for a second”.
Because you sit too much and get too little quality sleep, putting off even taking care of yourself, because it is hard to stop once you have slipped into the digital world.
You have pushed important relationships into the background, because you never have time. Or you notice that even when you are physically present, it is not easy to listen and give the conversation your full attention. You tend to drift away in your mind instead, even though deep down you do not want to.
You are tired, but the tiredness makes you chase even more stimulation. An endless vicious circle. You miss the presence that felt so natural in childhood. And you want it back.
Our brains have not adapted to a world this comfortable. Pleasure is only one mouse click away. And the earlier in life you got used to stimulating yourself, the harder it is to change.
The pattern does not simply continue, it grows more painful. Lost hours pile up into years. The clock keeps ticking and sooner or later the body grows weaker, relationships more fragile, the soul frozen with regret.
Every day wasted in the digital world is a day you will never get back.
And I know how to get out of it!
Phase 1
Phase 2
When I finally came out of depression and started discovering who I really am, I gave up computer games and started chasing the dream of becoming a motivational speaker, coach and YouTuber who could inspire millions. I sincerely believed that this was exactly what I came into this world for. But instead I chose procrastination… My old patterns simply changed shape: TV series, anime, porn, social media, endless learning without action.
Even then something in me was waking up. Between the relapses I started rebuilding my life piece by piece. I managed to start walking with crutches, I trained as a singer and I even wrote a book. Those wins gave me a glimpse of who I could become, but the addiction still held me in its grip.
Phase 3
Later, once I had become an entrepreneur, running my own online business and earning a steady income, I thought I had finally outgrown the problem. But at one point I realised it was a slightly more advanced form of the same pattern. I worked, or thought about work, around the clock. I neglected my body. I avoided my fears. And I still felt that same quiet ache, as if my soul were crying for all the people I was not helping.
On the outside I looked successful. I had moved from social housing into a fine apartment with 750€ rent. I also found a girlfriend to share it with. But deep inside I felt I was just another easily replaceable IT guy, stuck in a comfortable digital world, far from my real potential.
Phase 4
Now I am in the middle of yet another change, moving from the IT world towards coaching, using everything I have learned so far to help others avoid the same trap. I have more control over my attention than ever before and my mission is clear:
To help men stop living behind screens and start living for real.
You can win your attention back too. One step at a time.
1.
a physical disability
2.
chronic pain and inflammation
3.
emotional trauma
4.
a ‘broken’ brain, shaped back in childhood
5.
loneliness and poor family relationships
6.
no need to work thanks to a disability benefit
It all starts with noticing your inner patterns of self sabotage and accepting them.
I know how to spot them in myself and in others, and how to build strategies for overcoming them.
Tom van Veenendaal
Jaana maling
Madis helped me understand why my days are not as productive as they could be. Together we worked out changes that brought a significant difference in a short time: I have set working hours, I keep distractions away and I do not drift between websites.
Because Madis has fought his own battle with digital addiction, he knows how to recommend tools that genuinely help. His broad perspective and his understanding of how people work help you take your attention back and make digital tools work for you.
Kristina Tamm
I also liked the marketing background Madis has. I can do and create whatever I want, but if it does not speak to my target audience, the work stays half done. On top of that, he does not let you fall off the rails. He is simply there, giving advice and pushing you forward.
That is what actually brings the results we want. I have moved several steps forward and if moments like these come up again in life (and they will!), I know exactly who to turn to for help.
Jaan Kruusma
Coaching with Madis was really great and it helped me understand the real reasons behind my gaming addiction and all the hours spent sitting in front of a screen. I felt how Madis always thought along with me and showed me options I had not come up with myself. I recommend this journey to everyone who is ready to admit that they spend too much time behind a screen and who wants a new chance.
When I look back… I had plenty of motivation. I really wanted to change. Hundreds of times. I felt real anguish about wasting my one unique life.
But sadly willpower is not enough. It does not beat a habit of many years, nor the vulnerability of our brain to modern technology. And I failed almost immediately after starting.
Then I discovered Cold Turkey Blocker. Suddenly I no longer needed willpower. I experienced what it means to be a normal person, although to me it felt like I had turned into a super genius.
For a long time I believed this was the answer. And in part it was. But it made me dependent. The one in control was not me, it was the software. When the block came off, everything fell apart. Real change means leading your own impulses, not delegating that to an app.
If you do not have a clear direction, it is only a matter of time before you go back to consuming. Because we all want to feel good, whatever it takes.
That is why it matters to set motivating goals and to keep in mind what you truly care about. Otherwise your mind will always find the easiest way to fill the void.
You cannot simply pull the plug when your life is built around screens. As you know, one addiction is easily swapped for another.
Video games turn into series. Series turn into “learning” on YouTube. And in the end even work can become just another dopamine trap, a socially accepted addiction that still leaves you empty and burned out.
That is why real change is not only about screen time, but about your whole lifestyle and identity. Because if you do not change the person behind the habit, the habit will only find a new mask to wear.
I would love to get back all those years that this struggle cost me. And I want things to go much better for you, because TIME IS PRICELESS.
This is exactly where coaching helps. No app, book or YouTube video can replace a person who truly understands you and can guide you through your own unique situation, step by step.
I will not give you generic advice. What matters is helping you understand why you in particular keep getting stuck, and showing you how to finally break out.
At first it is uncomfortable. Empty and pointless. You catch yourself reaching for your phone out of pure habit. But then something changes. What used to feel like boredom turns into presence and freedom. Your mind clears, your purpose returns. Your focus becomes your weapon. And nothing can stop you any more.
You finally have the energy and motivation to train regularly. Your sleep becomes longer and deeper. You start rediscovering your body and listening to what it needs. And in the end you build the healthy, strong body you have always dreamed of.
You now have the ability to concentrate and the clarity to do deep and meaningful work. You are the one leading your devices and your time. You stop procrastinating on what matters most. Your digital work gets done faster and more efficiently, leaving you more time for real life.
When you turn inward and learn to be present, you open yourself up to the world around you again.
Conversations and time in nature become enjoyable again. You feel far more alive and more confident. So it is no wonder if you start attracting deeper relationships, romantic ones included.
