My Experiences As A Child Who Was Addicted To Video Games

Addiction to video games and technology is a very common problem we face in our modern society. There are millions of children who suffer from it every day, being unable to control their behaviour.

It might not affect the body like alcohol and drugs do, but it can still have major consequences on the addict’s life. These are mostly connected to poor grades and a lack of educational development, but also disconnection with friends and family, health problems, financial issues and depression.

It’s clear that something has to be done by the parents because children and teenagers haven’t got enough self-discipline or awareness to make conscious decisions. But I can’t agree with the recommendation that the access to video games and internet should be taken away by force.

Every situation is unique, but there are always hidden causes of addiction that may not be seen by parents. If something is out of balance and children cannot cope with the absence of technology, it means there is a strong need that is unfulfilled and playing a video game might be the only way that satisfies that need.

I understand how difficult can the situation be for parents who just want the best for their kids. But I also understand how it’s like to be a child who suffers from computer addiction, because I went through it myself. That’s the perspective I want to share with you as well.

The Accident And Bullying At School

I was 9 years old when a concrete block fell on my back at an old and unguarded construction site where we used to play as kids. I lost the ability to walk along with my whole identity and self-worth because my legs helped me express myself in unlimited ways and blend in at school.

In addition to the painful loss, I experienced a lot of bullying at school where I felt like a piece of shit. It was like a jungle where the strong preyed on the weak. Most classmates ignored me. Some of them were abusive and got a high from the bullying, especially if they shared this pleasure with others.

I couldn’t even look into one of my classmate’s eyes because he felt intimidated by the fact that someone like me was looking into his eyes. He stared at me with hate, ordering me to look away even though we didn’t have any personal issues. He just wanted to avoid any signs of friendship with me.

One of the boys even laughed at my atrophied legs and told me: “Serves you right!” Again, a tough blow to my self-esteem which was already quite non-existent. Instead of fighting back, I just took it in like I had deserved it.

Countless times I was afraid of going to school. But I didn’t talk about these problems … even with my family. I didn’t want to be a snitch, and believed it would have only made the situation worse. I wished for respect and acceptance, that’s why I was afraid to lose it.

The Only Place Where I Felt Safe

When I got home, I finally had the chance to escape from my reality. I played computer games because it was a place I could feel FREE. I could BE MYSELF and feel EQUAL TO OTHERS. I even used to be a clan leader in many games because I had the confidence. Just like in the old days.

In the virtual world I had the opportunity to be a completely different person. Be whoever I wanted actually. While I was nobody in my real life. There are many other reasons why video games are so attractive, but this was the root cause.

My mother didn’t like that. She wanted me to do exercises and take care of myself. I’m grateful that she forced me to move because otherwise I would’ve probably withered away completely. I felt a lot of resistance though. It was hard.

She felt that my computer addiction was destroying my life, so she tried different methods to stop it. Shouted at me. Threatened me to send me to a boarding school. Pulled the plug by force and banned me from using it. I understand why she did these things, but it added fuel to the fire.

The virtual world was my whole life. I felt safe and joyful there. If this was taken away from me, I felt panic and fear. Sometimes I hated my mother for it. Anger and resistance grew inside me. The relationship got damaged, and even years later I’ve gone to therapy to heal the wound.

Guilt And Sadness Under The Frustration

I was also angry at the fact that I couldn’t be independent. She came to pick me up from school, and it embarrassed me because I was old enough to be interested in girls. I didn’t like to be seen with my mother. I understood that it was needed, but I couldn’t accept it.

I was frustrated. I didn’t have the mood to talk to her while we were driving home. This hurt her really bad, and sometimes became angry or started to cry. I felt guilty because I felt I was the reason that she had so much pain in her life. She basically raised me alone…

When I tried to express my feelings, it easily led to more conflict and pain. That’s why I decided to repress my emotions and ignore her. Only when I arrived home and shut myself into my room, I could let all the emotions out and think to myself: “Forgive me, mother! I’m sorry that I am like this. I just can’t control myself. I don’t know what to do. Please forgive me.”

Deep Loneliness That Almost Killed Me

So I hated to be at school. I hated my whole life, including myself. And my mother didn’t want me to play computer games. Of course she couldn’t force me all the time, so I still played a lot. At one point she even gave up, but the damage was already done.

I was a very traumatized boy who felt alone. No one knew what I was going through. I felt like a burden to my family, thinking that I should have died when the concrete block crushed me. I felt like there was no meaning to my life.

Of course I hated the fact that I couldn’t walk. That I was different from everyone else. But most of all I suffered from loneliness and disconnection. It can be very painful if you cannot even talk to your family while dealing with such a great loss.

I tried to kill myself many times, but luckily I didn’t. I saved myself. My mother couldn’t. She gave up on me and one day I finally came out of it myself. I went through plenty of suffering on the way, but it happened.

A Turning Point

Suffering was actually an important part of my transformation. A lot of people have waken up and discovered their true selves through the experience of pain. Because at one point it’s so painful that you just have to change. If I couldn’t die, I needed to wake up and start living instead. There was no other way.

It is a long story. But today I’m one of the happiest people on the planet. I know that everything can be healed. Everything is possible!

I only wish that things would be easier for others. For the children and for the parents. That’s why I want to share my story with as many people as I can.

The truth is that people always have the best intentions in their heart and do the best they can with the resources they have. There is no need to blame anyone. Me and my mother were both victims of the unfortunate situation. But we can learn a lot from it.

What I really want to say is that we must go deeper to find the hidden causes of our problems. We need to pay attention to our loved ones and try to understand what they are going through. We need to connect rather than fight and separate.

Every addiction is a sign that a need of some kind is unmet. We give our best to fulfill these needs because we want to feel good and do what’s best for us. If we keep that in mind, we can forgive and move forward.

I know my mother loved me and did everything she could, although it was difficult to really understand her point of view while dealing with my emotions at the same time.

So things are not always what they seem. We actually care more than we express. Know that deep down your children are grateful for everything you do for them!

How To Be Happy While Making Your Dreams Come True?

In my previous article “How To Be Happy Despite Pain And Hardships?” I explained what is true happiness according to my experience.

We can achieve anything we desire, yet still feel empty because happiness can only come from within. It can only be expressed when you let go of control and accept life exactly as it reveals itself in this moment.

It is not easy to do this. That’s why most people must suffer in great amounts before the mind can finally surrender and let go of trying to control everything. Although the mind can be so stubborn that a person suffers for the rest of his or her life, suffering is still one of the most effective ways to wake up.

To let go of control means basically to die before your physical death, but because it is the only option remaining at a critical point of one’s life, the courage can be found to face the death of the ego. But instead of dying, we enter the state of abundance and bliss. That’s when we discover our true self.

Part II: Creation

When we accept life as it is and discover who we really are, we realize that there is no need to do anything. We already have enough. We are already fulfilled. Everything is as it is, and it’s okay.

But we always have a choice and responsibility. We are the creators of our own reality. We can choose where we direct our attention, what we focus on. What kind of meaning do we give to our experiences. Which questions to ask and what kind of answers do we receive in return.

You don’t have to do anything. There might be no point in anything, at least in an ordinary sense. The world continues to exist without us – there is nothing to save and nothing we absolutely must do.

We are the ones who create a purpose for ourselves. A meaning to our existence. We choose the experience we want to have.

But if we come from a place of happiness and peace, everything we do is an authentic expression of ourselves. Inspiration that is born from emptiness. That is the solution to lose the desperate need to achieve something. That’s how we can do great things without the fear of failing. Experience happiness while making our dreams come true.

It doesn’t mean we have to eliminate our fantasies. I love the quote from The Way of the Peaceful Warrior where Socrates said: “A warrior does not give up what he loves. He finds the love in what he does.”

The truth is that you can also be happy among the stars. You can be enlightened without ever being born on this Earth. But the fact is you are here. So what are you going to do about it?

I like to believe that everything has a purpose. But at the same time there doesn’t have to be a purpose. You can make your own choice about how you are going to live this life. Will it still be your destiny in the end? Perhaps… But it is still your choice. So it doesn’t matter.

If there is no need to do anything and if you are beautiful exactly as you are, what are you naturally inspired to do? If you can answer this question, you have found your life purpose.

Beliefs And Programs That Serve Us

I like to think that there is no right or wrong. Truth can be stated in a thousand different ways, yet each one can be true.

So the real question is: What kind of beliefs are going to serve you?

A conscious person does not install programs on his computer that are not useful to him. That’s why waking up and being mindful always involves the update of your entire system.

If you become aware of any limitation, you will immediately change it. A limiting belief can only exist if you lack the awareness to see what it is. When you see unlimited possibilities, you only choose what’s best for you.

A happy person changes the circumstances of life to suit her preferences, or assigns a positive meaning to her experiences if there is something that cannot be controlled.

That doesn’t mean she is ignorant and blind. She just makes a conscious choice. If something is serving you, what’s the problem around that? Even if it was supposedly untrue? If the results are something you are pleased with, well done!

This kind of mindset helps to turn our weaknesses into strengths. That’s how a traumatic accident can become a gift to the whole world. That’s why experiencing pain can be a very beautiful thing.

It is good to come back to neutrality and objective observing from time to time, and notice all possibilities. To understand that everything is as it is without giving any meaning to it. But in a practical way it is still useful to be positive about some things.

I’m grateful for my accident because it helped me to become the person I am today. It really made my life interesting. It gave me a purpose. Ways to make a difference in this world. And it is true, isn’t it?

Whatever we believe in becomes our truth. So make your beliefs count!

The Trap of Spirituality

I have seen a lot of spiritual people who try to become so enlightened that they start eliminating all their earthly desires. They get stuck in a thought that they must be no one. And there is no point in anything. Just meditate and be happy, right?

Well, whatever someone prefers, but I would like to share a story of mine about a time when I struggled with this dilemma.

I was an exchange student living in Portugal. At one point I got stuck in my old habits of watching TV series or playing computer games.

I felt like shit. I really wanted to do something about it, but my mind was clever and told me to accept everything as it was. Somehow taking action to improve your life had become bad because a spiritual teacher on YouTube was talking about making peace with any situation.

I expressed this in one of my articles called Prison Break. My mind was clearly controlling me using the spiritual teachings, because well… the mind is clever and knows ways to create resistance, but I managed to return to my senses.

It’s not about the right teachings, words or actions. It’s about the energy behind everything you say or do. When you listen to your heart, you get access to a much more powerful source of wisdom than any teaching out there. Like they say … one can point to the right direction, but never show you the real truth unless you experience it for yourself.

Even Eckhart Tolle has explained that if you get your foot stuck in the mud, you don’t just sit there and do nothing because that’s somehow spiritual. You take action to get unstuck because that is a preferable and completely rational thing to do.

Have balance in everything and never believe any of your thoughts too much despite their appearance!

The Journey Brings Us Happiness

Even when happiness is accessible in every situation and not dependent on the external circumstances, it is still true that we are alive and like to express ourselves in fulfilling ways.

I believe that happiness is also about growth and learning. Challenges and excitement. To enjoy a life of meaning and movement.

Happiness is ultimately living and being connected to the world around us. Playing with the surroundings and our bodies as we did when we were children. It is a spontaneous flowing that comes from the heart.

A tree doesn’t grow to be happy. It just grows. A cat doesn’t run and play like crazy to achieve something. It simply lives. Life is meant to be ever-changing and developing. It is natural to feel motivation to move, explore and learn about the world.

It is about a joyful journey that is born from pure inspiration and a desire to express. And that’s what happiness is really about. It is not our dreams that make us happy. It is the happiness which drives us to fulfill our dreams!

Dreams are powerful. I couldn’t imagine my life without them. I have powerful visions I want to move towards because they make me come alive. The process of achieving my goals makes me the person I really want to be. It’s how I want to express what is inside me. And that’s how I can also let go of the outcome since I know the real secret of happiness.

In the future I will go into more practical ways to maintain the state of happiness on a daily basis, but first I wanted to explain the mindset around it.

Awareness + Love + Authentic Expression = Realizing Your Greatest Potential

Make peace with your deepest pain, discover who you really are and what you are naturally inspired to do, and make yourself a legend!

How To Be Happy Despite Pain And Hardships

To be happy when you have everything you desire seems easy. But is that really happiness?

What to do when fear of the unknown creeps in?

When you don’t love your job? When you are not pleased with your appearance or personality? When your health suffers and you experience unpleasant symptoms? When your financial situation is unstable and stressful? When your relationships are broken or you feel alone?

If there is something you cannot control or change, is it also possible to be happy in these situations?

Does happiness depend on your circumstances at all? Or is it something much deeper?

What if you could be happy while experiencing deep pain and sadness? To feel inner peace when surrounded by all kinds of problems and challenges?

How wonderful would life be in that case, especially if everything is going well? How deeply could you appreciate every moment of your life in that state of mind?

Part I: Awakening

What to improve or optimize to be happy? There is an endless amount of study material to learn about this in a field called self-development.

There will always be things to change in the outer world and also on a mental level. The need to strive towards something will never disappear. It is an endless journey.

But this time we will focus on how to be happy right here and now. Because every change made at the external level is OK, but it will never guarantee permanent satisfaction. A person can achieve all he or she desires, but still feel empty.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, so let’s dive deep into our souls to discover the natural state of happiness which is accessible in every situation.

How we deal with pain and stress surrounding us on a daily basis is closely related to the topic.

Pain x Resistance = Suffering

Pain is inevitable. We all experience it in one way or another, be it physical, emotional or mental pain.

Stress is often a result of certain choices, so it is possible to improve here and there, but we cannot control everything. Life is naturally chaotic and ever-changing – it just happens.

If happiness meant permanent ideal conditions of life or positive emotions, it would be an utopia. The only way to live in peace is to become friends with pain and accept life as it is.

Suffering begins at the exact moment when a person resists what is happening. It consists of negative judgements, reactions and expectations. When there is something you don’t want to accept.

When I experienced phantom pain as a teenager and couldn’t fall asleep, I was sometimes so angry at my legs that I beat them with my fists. This amplified my stress even more, although it felt like the only way to react in that helpless situation.

When we resist reality and think negative thoughts, this will create negative emotions which feed another set of negative thoughts. This vicious cycle can continue until a person has depleted all energy stores and/or is distracted temporarily.

Some people escape from their negative emotions with the use of alcohol, drugs or watching TV. This is also a temporary solution that creates dependence of these strategies while the inner suffering continues.

What suffering consists of?

  1. Unpleasantness or pain
  2. Story about that pain

The Buddhists have pictured this using a metaphor of arrows. The first arrow that hits us is inevitable. But if we resist the experience of pain, we also get hit by the second arrow.

At one point I began to curiously ponder on where my suffering comes from.

It seemed that first there is an emptiness where nothing is happening. As I open my eyes and start to experience something in the physical realm, I will start to judge and react, which creates certain feelings inside me. We experience and give a meaning to this experience sooner or later.

A brilliant example of resistance inspired by “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck” (Feedback Loop From Hell)

You get angry at the most absurd and meaningless stuff, and you don’t even know why. And the fact that you get angered so easily pisses you off even more. And then you think about how shit of a person it makes you and how it also hurts other people, and you hate it. You hate it so much that you are angry with yourself. Now look at you: you are angry because you get angry about your angriness.

How can it get crazier? When you realize that this is an endless chain of reactions, and you don’t want to experience that. You want to be a rational spiritual person. But if you stay trapped in your mind, you will do it again: “Oh my God, I’m such a loser for doing it. I should stop. Fuck, I feel like such a loser for calling myself a loser. I should stop it. Damn! I’m doing it again! See? I’m a loser. Argh!”

It doesn’t help that we get pressured by the society which doesn’t accept negative emotions, reactions or behaviours. We want to suppress the negativity and strive towards perfection. And that’s why we look at all the cheerful pictures on someone’s Facebook wall and feel like the only person who is unhappy. We ask: “What is wrong with me?” This creates guilt, frustration, anger and anxiety.

As we can see, a simple experience can start a very dramatic life. To resist something is to swim upstream – it just doesn’t flow.

Whatever is happening, suffering can only exist when we add something to the experience. When we say: “It is not okay” – a judgement we make.

Now the pain (or a messenger) becomes an enemy. And our physical body can also become an enemy. We abandon it to avoid pain and end up killing ourselves.

The mind takes over and resists the body which main purpose becomes to carry the head. This is a path of losing the heart connection, which is unfortunately very common in our society.

Pain x Acceptance = Freedom

When a person has lost the connection with the heart and tries to control life, his or her obsessions become:

  1. How to avoid pain?
  2. How to fix everything?
  3. Who to blame?

The need to control means the absence of presence. Isolation from life. In this state of consciousness we feel unhappy and helpless because life seems unfair.

Suffering stops at the exact moment when we accept reality as it is and fully embrace the present experience. When we trust or are at least open to the possibility that what is happening in this moment is okay.

Now we can reunite with life and remind ourselves who we truly are. This will bring forth surrendering and letting go so that life can flow freely.

If we look at this from a pure practical or rational viewpoint, it is clear that resistance doesn’t solve the problem, but only adds fuel to the fire and makes the situation even worse.

If a cooking pot falls over, it is not helpful to shout and use our fists. The only reasonable solution is to start cleaning, which is obvious to anyone, but is challenging to do in practice.

This requires consistent practice, but the more we do it, the weaker the resistance becomes. We experience that accepting life doesn’t kill us, but grants us freedom.

Accept, change or leave the situation – anything else is madness.

Observation As A Way To Overcome Resistance

The deepest spiritual truth is: we are not our experiences, thoughts, emotions, body or personality. We are pure consciousness who experiences reality.

Observation (or mindfulness) is a way to quiet your mind and become peaceful. The key to happiness is just experiencing – the ability to see things as they are without the mind’s filters.

When we recognize this truth, it will cause a shift in our consciousness, which is liberating. It might feel frightening at first if we have been used to identify with our mind, but once we cross this bridge, our life becomes a joyful ride.

Awareness is the first step towards healing. At first we end suffering, next we can also change the situation and create what is preferable to us.

Many people assume that if we don’t respond negatively to a situation, change is impossible. But we can also change without resistance – simply by deciding to change.

And it is amazing that no one can take the ability to observe from us, no matter how painful is the situation. Even when the feelings are so intense that it cripples us, we can always stay mindful.

We can be surrounded by whirlwinds. Even our inner world can be filled with chaos. But if we stay observant, we can notice the observer within us who just experiences. Like watching a movie.

The more we practice meditation and staying present, the more we connect to this observer. This inner peace has always been inside us, but the noise of our minds has been too loud to recognize it.

The easiest step is to start paying attention to your breathing, the sound of your surroundings or the sensations in your body.

If you feel pain without judgements, the pain dissolves or at least don’t cause any more suffering. This is the only thing that has helped me with my phantom pain. Mindfulness is more effective than any painkiller.

Additional things that can help to deal with unpleasantness:

  1. The calming truth that everything will pass. Every emotion will run out of energy, like there will always be a new day. This will help to live in the moment.
  2. “This is a state of consciousness” – words that have helped me to remain calm in an anxious situation and stay mindful that I’m dealing with a temporary state. Change your consciousness, change your reality.
  3. Write down your experiences and feelings. This will give you a bystander position and the worry doesn’t seem to be so personal anymore. It is a part of your experience, not you directly.
  4. Simply experience! The less you react, think or fidget, the sooner the peace arrives. Focus on the feelings.

Stay open and try new ways of being because suffering can only put to an end with new experiences that confirm that our state of consciousness is truly manageable by us. New choices will lead to new results.

What Is True Happiness?

Awareness. Peace of mind. Love for life and yourself.

Can a person be happy when it is impossible to direct his or her life?

Only when the experience is perceived like a movie. But this is already a form of self-management because we direct our attention in this case. We choose how we react to the situation. At least we can always stay aware of it. To stop identifying with it. To simply breathe and observe.

This is the first step before personal choices and playful exploration in the state of happiness.

True happiness is not to be positive and cheerful all the time, because happiness is not an emotion.

Emotions are temporary phenomenons in a dualistic world where every rise is followed by a fall, and every fall is followed by a rise. All days are not brothers. It is fruitless to find certainty in an unpredictable world that is constantly changing. Find what is eternal and timeless!

We don’t always have to be “happy,” even if it was possible. We can only experience deep happiness when we can also embrace difficult or unpleasant emotions.

Of course we can also make choices which are favorable to us, but we don’t need to control everything. And that is peace – to be free from rigid attachments and expectations. To be connected to what is truly important.

Happiness is our natural state of being

Isn’t it liberating to know that happiness has always been available to us? That we don’t have to look toward the future to find it?

If we don’t experience happiness, it means we are blocking it. Our mind is probably too noisy and distracting.

If happiness exists already here and now, it is impossible to reach it. You can experience it if you discover that it is already inside you.

That’s why I’d like to call this as a journey of letting go, not adding or achieving. Empty the glass and let go!

What we are searching for is eternal and continuous. All external conditions including positive emotions are temporary.

The question becomes: Do you EXPERIENCE and are IN CONTACT with it?

Therefore I would recommend to change your habitual words like: “I am not happy.” It is more truthful to say: “I am currently not in touch with myself.”

If you know that happiness has always been inside you and all you have to do is open yourself to it… GAME CHANGED!

And it is OK if you are not presently connected to it. Enlightenment is not to be enlightened all the time. It is knowing where your true home is.

What Has Anime Taught Me

At first I want to point out that I don’t really watch anime anymore, and that has probably two reasons.

  • I feel that I have already watched all the best ones which have something important to teach me.
  • I’m old and aware enough that I don’t want to spend my life on entertainment.

This also includes TV shows, movies and other forms of entertainment. I don’t see them as bad and I don’t judge people who invest a lot of their time in this, but I have personally wasted so much of my life on computer games and different kinds of media, so I have quite a strong resolve to avoid these distractions as much as possible. And that makes a lot of sense if you have a powerful mission and you really love making progress in your “real life.”

But when it comes to anime, I honestly don’t regret any of it. I needed it as a teenager and it has served me for a long time, so I take the best out of all past experiences and make new decisions based on my current needs.

If I try to summarise all the positive benefits anime has given me, I can mention a few biggest wins:

  1. It convinced me to never give up and believe in myself no matter what.
  2. Filled me with inspiration and courage to dream big.
  3. Taught me a lot about Japanese culture and language, so now I can even sing at least 10 Japanese songs which I have also performed publicly in Estonia.
  4. Gave me many powerful opening songs and soundtracks which lift my spirits and give me motivation to work out whenever I listen to them.
  5. Inspired me to find a violin teacher and start learning one of the most challenging instruments.

I will describe some of the points in more detail in upcoming posts, but what makes Japanese anime unique for me is the depth of characters and unlimited fantasy.

I’ve learned a lot of life lessons from anime because it often consists of serious and important topics that are usually hidden in the western type of cartoons. The characters are multidimensional, and it is not always clear who is the hero and who is the villain. Even if it is, you can still sympathise with the so-called bad guys.

I also like the richness of different anime worlds. It has really expanded my imagination and helped me to keep that joyful and fantasying inner child active. So anime has been a strong influence to my capability to be bold in life.

Oh, and anime has the power to make everything seem as awesome! That’s why they are really motivating, be it sports, music or writing comics.

List of Anime I’ve Watched and Remember:

  1. Naruto (incl. Shippuden)
  2. Great Teacher Onizuka
  3. Kimi ga Nozomu Eien (Rumbling Hearts)
  4. Bleach
  5. Death Note
  6. Full Metal Alchemist (incl. Brotherhood)
  7. Code Geass
  8. Sword Art Online
  9. One Piece
  10. Hunter x Hunter
  11. Hajime no Ippo
  12. Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple
  13. Steins Gate
  14. Monster
  15. One Punch Man
  16. Boku no Hero Academia
  17. Bakuman
  18. No Game no Life
  19. Boku dake ga Inai Machi (Erased)
  20. Kuroko no Basket
  21. Attack on Titan
  22. Mob Psycho 100
  23. Kino no Tabi: The Beautiful World
  24. Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu
  25. Getbackers
  26. Nodame Cantabile
  27. Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (Your Lie in April)
  28. La Cordo Primo Passo
  29. Log Horizon
  30. Highschool of the Dead
  31. From the New World
  32. Welcome to the N.H.K
  33. Kimo no Na wa
  34. Avatar: The Last Airbender (American)
  35. The Legend of Korra (American)

I’m sure this is a small list compared to a real anime fan, but even my list involves investing a huge amount of time. Now when most of my anime needs are satisfied, the only anime series I currently watch from time to time is One Piece (because of the attachment to characters) and Attack on Titan (because it is brilliant and it doesn’t take much time).

If I had to recommend any of these, I would choose Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, Death Note, Hunter x Hunter, Hajime no Ippo, Monster, Bakuman, Attack on Titan, Avatar, and La Cordo Primo Passo (if you want to play a musical instrument). Of course it would depend on the person’s interests and tastes. Because I’m all about spending time wisely, I’m careful when I recommend a long series, but if you really want to watch something, these are my top picks.

Change Your Consciousness, Change Your Reality

We create our reality according to our present state of consciousness which is constantly changing.

A state of consciousness is like an energy field that attracts emotions and situations which empower that state of consciousness in return.

For example if you are frustrated about not working out enough or a negative comment you heard from someone, you will likely start to see or invent additional problems in your life as well. If you sit on Facebook all day long and you don’t create value for yourself or other people, you feel emptiness which affects everything else you perceive as reality.

Losing focus and connection with the heart

If we let ourselves become unfocused and derailed from our dreams, the energy in our body decreases, old habits return and motivation starts to fade. And if our energy level is low, we easily attract thoughts and feelings to make us believe that we don’t even want to do what we really want to do. How misleading is this!

“Ah, I am not in the right mood.”
“I think I’m not this kind of a person after all.”
“I will do that later.”

Sometimes this creates a lot of confusion. “I was ready to do this and I really wanted to move forward, but why do I suddenly feel that I don’t want it anymore? Like I suddenly became a totally different person with a different fate.”

Some people may stay stuck in that hole for years in case they identify with their feelings and start to affirm this temporary reality with their thoughts, but a lot of us simply repeat the same cycle over and over again.

At one point we open our eyes and everything seems to be fantastic. We know who we are and what we want. We are connected to our wildest dreams and move powerfully towards them. We have no doubts about our path. We feel tremendous passion, creativity and inspiration – everything is flowing perfectly. We are so full of energy that none of the steps seem to require too much effort.

But suddenly we lose our awareness and step into a world of distractions and temporary pleasures which give no food to our souls. If the energy has dissipated, darkness and emptiness now starts to creep in. We experience confusion, identity crisis and a lack of motivation. There is no strength to take action. Instead we want to be aimlessly lazy and distract ourselves, thinking about overeating, having sex, buying, consuming and watching entertaining TV shows.

We fall under the control of egoistic and often self-destructive habits which may seem very precious at that moment, but deep inside there is a knowing that it’s only a slow death without a real value. A person in that state of consciousness may forget that happiness is an inside job, and starts searching love outside of himself instead.

The consequences of this derailing are dependent on when do we notice our loss of focus, and how long do we let ourselves stay in that state. Habits which are formed over many years can play a huge role in this. Some people can return to the purposeful and rational behavior more easily than others, but a person who has used to being in a comfort zone and who is lacking great self-management skills, can get stuck for days or even weeks as long as something doesn’t force him/her to take action. 

“People are as lazy as they are allowed to be” – if a person is not connected to his true purpose and being, this statement is very correct.

What helps people get out of the hole?

Responsibilities and fear – survival instincts kick in and order us to go to work or do our homework. It is beneficial because it gets us moving, but it’s only a partial solution. A lack of personal vision and following some rules out of fear doesn’t make us happy.

Frustration, sadness, anger – all these emotions are incredible catalysts for change, but the result depends on how to deal with them and where to direct these emotions. Sometimes it can be so powerful that it immediately throws us on the other side of the river. There is a lot of power in these intense feelings, because they make us choose – life or death, freedom or imprisonment, happiness or suffering. A person makes a clear decision: “I MUST change!”

Steady emptiness, self-suppression and lying to yourself doesn’t lead anywhere, but powerful and uncomfortable emotions will always help us to change the mess we are in. Therefore we shouldn’t fear or suppress feelings, but feel grateful for them! Emotions are the language of the soul.

But do we have to wait until the external world forces us to act? Does our hearts have to scream in pain before we change our ways?

Of course not and that’s why life is such a beautiful experience. We have the power to change our state of consciousness in every moment. Just one flick of a finger and we wake up in the new world once again.

We are responsible for our whole reality. But first we must become aware of this. We have to experience it to fully understand the immense power that we possess.


Meditating or being mindful is observing your thoughts, feelings and experiences just like you were sitting in front of a movie screen and watching the play with complete neutrality and non-attachment.

Having awareness is the perfect start, because it helps us to stop digging the hole of suffering and look at the situation more objectively. We don’t judge ourselves or think that the current reality would last forever, but we just observe the experience and realize that we can change it at any time.

But awareness is just the first part of the answer. When we’ve got trapped in a thick spider web, we need energy to make a bold move and step out of our comfort zone. We have to stop sabotaging ourselves (by closing the web browser, standing up or going outside), and that requires some start-up energy.

When we’ve fallen into a low state of mind and lost contact with our passions, it is not enough to have temporary thoughts or memories about our dreams, values and past experiences. “I am aware of these illusions of the mind. I know that it’s just a temporary state of being. I know what is right and what do I really want, but why am I still not moving?!”

All life consists of energies and vibrations. If a thought doesn’t resonate with our current state of consciousness, it doesn’t feel true. That’s why it is so essential to raise our energy levels first.

Creating the right state of consciousness

How to influence the state of consciousness and create new thoughts, emotions, beliefs and experiences?

  • MOVEMENT– fresh air, people, broader view, blood circulation and oxygen. What are you doing with your body? Where are you? How do you move, what position are you in? It influences our energy levels significantly. For example when we let our backs fall into the chair – this doesn’t happen because of laziness, but instead laziness is caused by the position of the body. Every step has a message and purpose: our movements tell the story about what kind of people do we want to be.
  • MEDITATION – presence, silence, space. The chance to connect with your true self and let go of old programs and shackles. (Also read: 10 Tips to Calm the Mind)
  • BREATHING – the deeper and slower it is, the calmer is your mind. When you change your breathing, you change your perception.
  • POSITIVE REFLECTION – being in contact with someone else’s passion (a good article, video, movie or book). Something that makes you feel. Positive exchange of energy reminds you of your values and dreams.
  • FOOD – how fresh and water-rich, how easily digestible? Food can make us sleepy or load ourselves with energy and willpower.
  • SLEEP – if the body can sleep deeply, the mind is calm and brighter. Being in harmony with natural rhythm (going to sleep early and waking up with the sun) makes you feel productive, but oversleeping makes you feel like a zombie.
  • PHYSICAL SPACE – is your room clean and organized? Everything in your range of vision wastes precious mental resources, so the more minimalist life, the easier it is to focus on the essentials.
  • MUSIC – inspirational songs help us to return to ourselves and remember our greatest potential (my PowerMusic playlist).
  • OTHER TRICKS – positive affirmations, visualizations, gratitude, singing and all other pleasant activities.

It all comes down to FOCUS – what we think about and where do we direct our attention eventually becomes our reality.

We have so many opportunities to change our state of consciousness and create a new world. But even taking these simple steps can sometimes require a lot of willpower. A solid decision and choice. It all depends on where do you start and how much do you have momentum. It is always easier to change your direction at the first slips or moments of unconsciousness.

This is the chance to learn how to manage ourselves and grow our willpower. If we are such powerful beings, why should we wait for more favorable conditions? We can change it all right now!

In case you are lacking of this willpower, it is reasonable to start with the smallest and simplest action. What is the least energy depleting step that can give birth to a new beginning?

For me that’s breathing. Making my first footsteps. Going away from the computer and other distractions. The mouse click on the X or pushing the Shut Down button. It is actually not so difficult as it seems. 🙂

Finally your soul starts to awaken and the momentum will grow. Now you only need to maintain your awareness and let the snowball fall.

In every human lies a genius who is waiting for the right playroom. Give him/her the opportunity and the miracles will start to happen!